Word of the day!

Word of the day:

"Euuuiis"

It means 'yous', which, technically, makes no sense.

How to construct it? "Euuiis all kaopei miie for what? Wan fiite arhhh? Cum la!"

What would a lian do?

Okay, so this post is gonna be more informal ^_______^ and crazy
Isn't it nice to see liannies all around? On the bus, in school, in malls and even in your underwear? (Oh, I don't know).

How will a lian react when she gets into a car crash and survive?
A. She starts screaming and call all her gan di, gan kor, gan whatever-insert-shit-name-here to murder the dude who crashed into them. The nerve!

How will a lian react if she got dumped?
A. First 1min: omigoddzx howxzx he dumpped miie leiii . iie wannnaxzx diexxzx liaooxzxz. iie will neberxz wannt tuu fall iinzx lurbbes agaiin .
Next minute: -sees a guy- omigawd hiie's shoo haut ! iie tynkk iie wanna go jio hiim (or whatever word you like)

How does a lian react to bad results?
A. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE waiii??? iie thoughhhtzxz iie damnned smarted? farkkk laaaaaaaaaaa. aiiyah nebbermindxcx...gud results 4 wut...nort liiekk iie wannna biie a lawyyersxz or summethinng. iie go enjoy liife betterr with mmy gan (insert shit name). wharts e poiint of studying stiiell?

END OF RANDOMNESS. Sugar high from durian cakes

Why English Still Remains Important In Singapore

Greetings, it's me, AAL Svperstar again~ -waves-

I would like to bring up something regarding why English remains important in Singapore, regardless of whether China is a rising economy or not.

Even if in the next 1o years, China will be better than USA's economy, we still cannot emphasise it as the language we should use. Do you know what is the purpose of English being used in Singapore? It is not because we were once a British colony (Think Sri Lanka's national language being Sinhala after independence). Rather, it is because it is the linking language amongst the different races in Singapore. English is used basically is because of the fact that it gives no one an advantage over others because we are non-native English speakers.

Even if Mandarin's gonna an important language, it's not going to happen in just 10 years. English will continue to be the most widely used language.

Also, I would like to ask you guys a question: are liannies only bad in English? More often than not, they are bad in both languages. They struggle with BOTH English and Mandarin or their respective mother tongues. If one were to be an epic-failure in English, and also is horribly bad in their mother tongue, where are they going to be? If they decide to not take part in the global competition and stuff, well, I guess go ahead, fail English :D

Okay, that's all folks! Thanks for tuning in!

An unexpected expected sight

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, ah lians and ah bengs. It's been quite sometime since I've posted something more of substance, rather than fast, plain and absolutely strange posts.

Regarding the title, it isn't a mistake for those who are unable to see. Well, perhaps you will understand when I further elaborate my post. The title is a typical oxymoron, really.

It all began today, when I decided to go to NTUC for some window shopping with my pals. When we stepped into the NTUC, what greeted us was the crisp, cool air in the store. Simply refreshing. And if you did notice, NTUC do play some sort of music in its stores(no matter how cheap some people think they are). We were so happily browsing through the rich selection of mechandises(we were at NTUC extra, actually) when suddenly(!) we hear a bunch of screaming girls.

I'm not exaggerating this. Their screams in a supermarket was highly unnerving. It sliced through the calm, soothing atmosphere with such brute force that it was almost unbearable. But what startled me more was what they were doing.

The five of them -by the way, they are from Holy Innocents' Secondary School- were trying to pack themselves into a trolley. Can you imagine? The five of them tried squeezing themselves into a trolley that is meant for storing food. Heck, even babies don't sit in there! Okay, so they were racing around with the trolley with so many people packed in there, screaming, squealing and acting as though they were in an amusement park. Cheap thrills.

Oh, don't tell me things like, "They will grow out of it", "It's just a phase of their lives", "they're just having fun". Having fun at the expense of the public's peace is grossly unacceptable. I've given up on trying to educate lians. They have their lives, I have mine. But when they intrude into my life by messing up a good day, that's when I get pissed.

Although I didn't expect this incidence to happen today, I did expect such an action from liannies. Well, what can you expect? They're liannies. You know, you know, like boomz? (insert sarcasm)

Ah, they -finally- got chased out of the mart when they supposedly encountered a collision upstairs, and were screaming like it's halloween(which isn't today, kay liannies?). Not only did they not return the trolley, they even went out making the typical vulgarity littered singlish and act like they were not at fault.

Please, liannies, have some sense of decency. You did not only disgrace yourselves as human beings, but even your schools when you go out making a fool in school uniform. I repeat, the school was Holy Innocents High School (or was it secondary school? I have no idea).

Well, that's about all. It is indeed, an unexpected expected sight. I apologised if this post ended up with a lack in substance, scince I do believe I did not live up to what I tried writing about properly.

The Impact of Bad English

Very often, many ALs who visit our blog have mentioned that their bad standard of English is not an issue as the usage of language is up to an individual. However, this very idea in fact is quite shallow as the negative impacts that bad language command can bring about are existent, and adverse.

Recently, Ris Low has sparked media attention due to her appalling English standards despite her being crowned Miss Singapore 2009. Many have also mentioned that her bad language command reflects the standard of English in Singapore’s society, and that her being chosen was a downright disgrace to our country. However, another question that we have to ask ourselves is: why are many Singaporeans such weak in the language?

Singlish, a term coined from the combination of Singapore and English, is often used by Singaporeans to communicate to one another. Originating due to the multicultural society, Singlish has become an idiosyncratic Lingua Franca of Singaporeans. Singlish does not cause any negative impacts per se, but the inability of many people to code switch, especially those weak in the language, usually leads to a bad standard of English in formal situations. One example would be the abovementioned Ris Low.

This brings me back to the topic of ALs. Most of the time, ALs employ an atrocious command of language in conversing with others. Despite having such bad language, they refuse to look up a dictionary in order to improve their English. As a result of constantly twitting and/or combining other languages with English, their standard of English drops radically.

Singapore’s economy depends largely on foreign investments and tourism. Due to our small land space and lack of natural resources, Singapore is forced to depend on other countries for its continued economic survival and progress as a nation. English is an international language, thought not everyone can speak it. Yet, it is the only language that we need to know fundamentally in order to converse with people of different nationalities. The United States of America (USA) has the highest GDP in the world, and is also a country that Singapore’s economy depends on largely. If we lack the Basic English skills, how is it possible to invest there, and perhaps survive economically?

A relatively short post, but it brings the point across: bad English does not simply affect an individual. Especially if it is on a large scale, it can affect an entire nation’s image and perhaps economy. If anyone thinks that the blog which we have created is a waste of time, think again.

The problems with ALs‏

Written by: Cindy

As we all know, ALs like to create trouble. Regardless of what you do, they will still look for you with their “family”.

If you met a reasonable AL (the better kind of AL) and they want to “settle” with you, normally 1-on-1 and through talking, it’ll be OK.

If you met an unreasonable AL (which is the most common kind)… Talking doesn’t solve the problem; they will still come and beat you up, if you don’t want to get beaten, you have to say sorry. Whether you are in the wrong or not, they don’t care about anyone being in the wrong, even if it’s one of their “family members” who offends you first, you’ll still be in the wrong and get beaten. ALs thinks they have power and they are bigger than you, and everyone has to listen to them, if you don’t, either they beat you up or you have to say sorry. When they have a fight between their “family” and another, ALs will never get beaten and they are proud of it, because they have people to “protect” then. Unless necessary, ALs will only sit back and watch their “family” beating another person. This is how unreasonable they are.

I admit the fact that I once used vulgarities, like never ending. But I controlled myself and now I don’t say vulgarities anymore (which, I am very proud of myself). One day, ALs will come to their senses and quit saying vulgarities, quit smoking, stop creating trouble. But I guess that will be like, only 1 out of 10 of them. And most ALs have already stopped twitting, even some of them hates it.

Guest post: The psychological characteristics of Ah Lians

Written by: De Maitre

Based on 6 months’ worth of data collection, when I talk about ALs, I’m talking about teenagers from 13-18 years old who share the following characteristics in varied combinations:

Self Inflated Ego- They like to think they are pretty, but most of them are plain Janes. They normally share the same re-bonded China-doll hair cut, thick make up and an awful taste in cheap clothing. I don’t have issues with rebonded hair and cheap clothes, but ALs have a remarkable talent in making nice hair and clothes look bad. As for thick make up, I think it should be reserved for Wayangs, not for the streets. They like to say stuff like “DM, you jealous of me right? Cos I’m so pretty…” Urgh, I would rather die a virgin. What’s more, if you don’t think they are pretty or smart, they mutate into banshees that scream an endless barrage of vulgarities.

Sensitive- they can criticize you, you can't criticize them. They take it VERY personally. They'll threaten to burn down your house, whack you up and start challenging you for your real name, your home address, handphone number and your gender. Heh, everyone knows me as DM, I don’t know why they have issue with that. And I suspect most ALs are homophobic, I guess they just want to get laid by every male that walks across their path in order to feel like they are "wanted" and "desirable". They take rejection personally too, they do threaten suicide (to me, its good riddance to bad rubbish).

Diarrhea of the Mouth, Constipation of the Brains (intellectual poverty)- I realize that all ALs can’t debate. All they can do is swear and accuse people of being kaypoh. I find it incredibly amusing that when I leave comments, I get accusation of “stepping English” (since when was speaking standard English a sin?) or for being a kaypoh (I love being a kaypoh, anyone who has curiosity in them will be a kaypoh!). So far, a few ALs have “cursed” me to be childless in future, even AFTER I told them I refuse to have kids due to the 50% chance of them turning bad. The other words they like to use is slut/bastard. Well, pot calling the kettle black in most cases. Heh.

Look for trouble- ALL ALs have this problem, they love looking for trouble, they are trouble, their friends are trouble, their love lives are trouble and they come to people’s blog to make trouble. When they get flattened for doing that, they go back to their gang complaining that people create trouble with them. *snort* Right, who was the one who started spewing vulgarities at the wrong people who made neutral comments about ALs’ deviant behaviors?

The whole world is in the wrong, only they are perfect- ALs actually think they are very clever. Serious. They actually created their own lingo and create new meanings for words! Singlish is fine, twitting still exists! And the best part about twitting is, there are no rules. I have no idea how much further that lingo can be further degraded and segmented. They use words like flirt, spammer and kaypoh very liberally without knowing what they mean. Poor sods.

Bad Command of Language- they just don’t have a command of language. They can’t speak English properly, can’t speak Chinese properly, can’t speak dialect properly AND they think they are clever because they are not pretending to be clever. I’m so impressed I could die of happiness. They actually made an ART out of being a failure, and since being a failure is the hardest thing for most of us to achieve (on a philosophical level), we have to give them credit for that…

Physical Aggression- That’s the only way they know how to settle “issues”. They call it talk, but given their admirable levels of patience, eloquence and verbal expression, I really question how long the “talk” can last before they resort to their nails and hands. A few ALs have expressed their wish to slap me, but since they can’t find me, they are reduced to mopping around whining about how pathetic I am. Haven’t they heard of verbal slaps? I’ve been giving them tons of verbal slaps along with the other AAL writers. Unfortunately, ALs have such thick hides that slaps have no lasting impression. Now, imagine slapping a bull, it just feels irritatingly ticklish to them, the same reaction when you verbally slap liannies). Subtle sarcasm doesn’t work on them, at ALL. They need to be verbally punched in the face before they run back to their pack whining about being mistreated.The word “dog”- I don’t know why they have to use the word “dog” on everyone, be it friend or foe. They don’t call people baboons, morons, jackasses, etc. From the Freudian perspective of symbolism, I would hypothesize that it’s a reflection of their behavior:

- They mate like dogs (multiple partners)
- Run in packs (their endless lines of gans and jies)
- Bark a lot (the endless barrage of vulgarities and empty threats)
- Howl to the moon (emotional outbursts at night about being lonely and

unwanted by their family)
- Bitch bitch bitch (they are experts at that)
- Run off with their tails between their legs once they meet their betters

The inability to swear properly- They are masters of quantity, not quality. They feel very empowered using “f” words and other hokkien words. Unfortunately, their hokkien stinks to high heaven, the sentences often don’t make sense. For example- knn limbei you! (translated as: screw your mother, your father you). That doesn’t make sense doesn’t it? And the part that really made me flinch was the use of CCB by ALs, may their vaginas rot off from overuse.

Self destructive behavior- I find it very cute that they always glorify these three things: smoking, drinking and sex. I think these are activities that no under-aged kid in their right mind would do. What’s more, I’ve been trying to go to a few AL’s blogs to offer them “good advice”. Typical of their rebellious nature, most of the replies I’ve gotten are “who are you to tell me what to do? Stupid Kaypoh”, the nicer ones were “I don’t know who you are, thanks for the advice, but I’ll live my own life”. I have a question- “Why is a stranger offering you good advice inferior to that of the gans and jies that teach you how to die of cancer or STD faster?”

If you aren't with me, you are against me- As long as you don't agree with "the" AL way, you are a nerd, even if you can't study. Either that or you're a retard, idiot, bodoh, huan loh, hongster, or whatever, even though you know you are smarter than them and a lot less flirtatious.

Mysterious creatures- no one understands them. Really, you see them declare this all over their blogs. Their teachers, parents, boyfriends and siblings don’t understand their insurmountable pain and anguish over lord knows what. Nobody can understand why they do stupid stuff like getting knocked up and going for rounds of abortion. No one understands why they have to waste all their money on cigarettes and alcohol when the highest pay they can get is approximately $6/hr. No one understands why they take so many MCs and leaves even though they are earning so little. No one knows why they prefer bad friends over good ones. No one knows why they want to go to NT or NA when they can perfectly well get into express. No one knows why some of them give up poly to join their bfs in ITE. No one knows why they still stay with a boyfriend who would rather sleep or flirt with other girls than hang out with them. Are they that stupid? Maybe. I bet they don’t even understand themselves. Lost souls… After many scuffles with them, I realize they switch to the “sob” story after some time. They start to cite stories about having a single parent, stepparent from hell, lousy parents, etc. as a reason for their deviant behavior. I think that is a terrible excuse. I’ve met people who come from single parent families with that single parent being a shitty example of parenthood (gambling, loansharks, alcoholism, etc) but they still turned out fine. Why? It’s because they have the ambition and determination to pull themselves out of the vicious cycle. So my point is ALs are weak in mind, body and soul.